Hello fellow internet surfers and blog followers, it's been too long since i poured my emotions into the carefully written sentences on this here blogisphere. It's good to be back regardless of how long I end up staying this time. In the time I've been gone I've lost and learned and loved and hurt, but it's been a journey I'm proud of taking, because after all I've been through, I'm still here.
I had made so many wonderful and great plans to be someone and go somewhere; go on a mission, travel the world, go volunteering. Yet every time I had made those decisions something got in my way of following through. I've gotten more and more upset about my current situation, not feeling like I amount to much next to acquaintances and close friends alike, until I decided to change my circumstance. I started getting out of the house more, whether it was to grocery shop, or walk around the block, or actually be around other people, leaving my house was a good start. I started shifting my perspective on my past and what I'd fought over, realizing that every bad day, road block or ignorant coworker brought me higher.
I made the choice to see the bright side of my trials. And I'm not telling you it came easy. I'm not going to run on giving you any false sense that being happy starts off easy, because it doesn't. Along with my choice to be positive I surrounded myself with positive people, and not jut positive people, but positive people who understood my hurdles. People who have walked through the same swamp with nothing but their flip flops and came out on the other side just like me.
Lots of people come and go in my life and I'm so grateful for what each one has taught me. Sometimes they leave due to some misunderstanding or even something that was genuinely under my control, but regardless of why they leave, it's their choice. I have no control over other people's actions, and to try and convince myself that I do was only making my mood worse if anything. I care a lot about people. If someone hurts, I hurt, especially if I've convinced myself It's my fault. I lose sleep, I can't eat, trying to figure out what I did and how I could have solved the problem.
Here's what I learnt.
Life goes on.
And I mean that in the most cheesy yet genuine fortune cookie way possible. Nobody else has control over what path you choose. Sure some people are extremely influential, but ultimately you can be in control in every circumstance. You choose where to go, who to be and what to do every second of every day. That's the last thing you want to hear when you're in a slum, trust me I get that. But you can't expect to move up if you're constantly looking down.
Sending love and good vibes your way!!
Till next time
xoxo
