but anyways!! haha thats besides the point!!
so today i decided to sort of share with you my story. a sort of confession i guess.. on how i became beautiful in my own eyes. haha, so bear with me as i explode all over the pages of my blog :)
so for those of you who know me pretty well, you know that i have struggled with confidence issues. like bad. i wouldnt accept compliments, i would stare into the mirror and wonder what i could possibly do to improve myself. i would look at the shaping garments section in my local walmart. i got depressed over this stuff. and to be honest, a lot of it had to do with boys.
yea gosh darnit those dumb boys, gotta go around making us girls feel unworthy or below them (not saying its only boys but boys were personally my biggest problem).
but here's the thing. it doesnt matter what anybody says. whether they be male, female, black, white, asian, tall, short, popular, nerdy, WHATEVER; it doesnt matter what they say about you. you are who you were meant to be. there is a quote by Dr. Seuss that i absolutely adore and i am going to share it even though chances are you have heard it haha:
"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You."
well... he hit it right on the head. everybody is an individual, and even if you try to be like somebody else, you will never be satisfied with the outcome. the best way to go through life is to live it with a smile on your face.
i understand that at times this can get hard. really hard. remember i once was a fragile lump of dissatisfaction. but just because life is hard doesnt mean you are alone. i hate how often people automatically shut themselves off from others and assume a state of abandonment. YOU ARE NOT ALONE
if you didnt know already, i am LDS. and part of my beliefs include that of a constant comforter. there is always someone watching over me, someone to talk to, through prayer and study of the scriptures.
ok i am not saying that this is false because the knowledge of this comforter has helped me so many times. but when times get really tough, it is nice to have someone tangible to lean on and cry with. you need t surround yourself with the right kind of friends. and that is tip numero uno.
surround yourself with the right friends. the kinds of friends that laugh with you when youre a klutz. the kind of friends you arent afraid of being makeup-less around. the kind of friends you can tell EVERYTHING. i have been blessed with so many good friends. ones i would not trade any amount of money or worldly possessions to give up. there are few things money cant buy. and real lasting friendship is one of them.
when you surround yourself with friends that truly care for you, you will find yourself walking a little taller around them, and eventually you will walk taller around others. it takes time, but it works. even just one truly genuine best friend will really make a difference for you. you will become soooo much more positive about just about everything. and that brings us to tip numero deux.
stay positive. ok so i think i have mentioned this before but i will mention it again. a while back i was seeking advice from a new found good friend through facebook chat. i was having boy troubles (go figure... haha) and heres kinda the gist of how the conversation went.
i didnt understand how guys never liked me and i always scared them away. i really didnt. i figured i was normal enough to be capable of grabbing a good date here and there. but nope, i was doing miserable in that area. and he told me just that. as much as i am a positive, joyful person in public, and i come off almost in-your-face, my life around my closest friends had become depressing. and he noticed through facebook. i had sunk to the level of FDD. Facebook Depression Diarrhea (not a real disease....). bad bad bad.
i had resulted to posting every intimated detail of my 'depression' on the huge social network known as facebook. and frankly, it was probably getting annoying. to a lot of people. 'subtly' posting code statuses about people who were getting on my nerves or boys who just didnt see me or whatever.
and this guy gave me the best advice. sticking with the title of the second tip, he told me to keep my online feelings positive. there is a time when venting is ok, even good for you. aaaand there is a time when it is a really really bad idea. your friends dont want to see your tears in words all over their news feed. its soooo annoying. (i realize this now in some of my friends, and i hope they read this :))
so its time to move on to tip three. which really is a lot like tip two but from a different perspective.
be a friend. be the kind of friend you appreciate when times are tough. when you help others, you feel better about yourself and who you are. and it really only makes sense that those who are happy, attract those that are happy. when im really sad or really mad, i dont really appreciate people trying to make me laugh. yeah sometimes it makes me laugh and after ive smiled i love them for it, and that is the kind of person you want to be. be the person who loves people unconditionally. everyone has problems, and everybody has triumphs. but everybody experiences them differently. just because YOU are wonderfully happy and things are peachy, doesnt necessarily mean that it comes naturally to others. it takes time to be positive and supportive and accepting of others. dont judge, dont hate, dont hold grudges. President uchtdorf said it right when in conference he said, and i quote, "STOP IT". his talk was more geared towards forgiveness and letting go, but this quote still works well :) and it also brings us to tip nummer vier.
get up, let it go, and move on. sometimes life grabs you by the neck and gives you a good shake. yea it really sucks, but remember, it gets better. BUT it will only get better if you let it. wallowing in your grudging ways isnt going to make your life any easier, let alone those around you. if you are constantly holding onto things that bring you down, how do you expect to be confident and positive.
"You is kind. You is smart. You is important." -Aibileen Clark, The Help
so i am sure there is tons more to say, i just dont have the room or time to write it. its currently two thirty am where i am, and i kinda need my sleep ;) but i really hope that this post helps somebody gain back their confidence. i will probably expand on it if one day something just comes to me, so i guess stay tuned? hah not making any promises though.
oh, and if you wanna listen to a good talk about being important here's one :)
so with that, i say, goodnight, good luck, and if you should take anything from this post, remember to ALWAYS be your lovely self.
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