recently a couple issues have been brought back up to the surface. and its hard. i tend to be the kind of person to cry it off, then bury it and keep pushing until I'm out of breath and need a little help. when i get out of breath those problems that i buried catch up to me and i become one emotional mess. and its not healthy.
there is a difference between letting it go and letting it be. i tend to be the type to let it be.
for some reason i have found that we as a human race tend to harbour up our negative emotions and let them grow in some unknown space inside of us. until one day that space isn't big enough to hold anymore, and you just explode.
don't let that happen. if someone has upset you; tell them. don't be like me and let them walk off not knowing what they actually did. it will do you more harm in the long run that you can imagine at that moment.
a while back i vented in a post about my brother in law, and this is the cause of my glum mood this evening. i was really hurt by him. and i didn't let him know it. i still don't think he knows it. but i don't blame him, i didn't let him see it. i didn't stand up for myself and tell him.
he did the things he did out of love for his family;his wife and children, but in doing so he forgot that i was more than just a guest in his house, and that perfection on my part wasn't realistic to ask for. he forgot that while he was hurting me, he was also hurting his wife, who happens to be my only sister.
both me and my sister are alike in that we are both silent in situations where our feelings are hurt. if I'm going to tell you i was hurt, its going to be very indirect and in some sort of code. which i have come to learn is extremely difficult to understand if you're not me.
so if you're anything like me, please take this piece of advice and don't just let it be... let it go. cry it out. pray about it. talk to your bishop about it. but never hold it in.
later days my friends
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