Hey all!! I'm sorry im so bad at blogging. my life isnt really all that interesting and i dont want to bore you with unimportant details! but its that time of year and i feel like publicly expressing my feelings!
So.
I'm single and im ok with it. yea i get lonely every once in a while. but that's not because im single, it's because of several other reasons all combined into one big frustrating UUUAAAGHHHH
A) I live in a small town without a car or license to get myself places to meet people outside of sunday meetings. that sucks, and i dont like not having a license. Practicing scares me though. i don't like the feeling of being nervous behind a big machine that could easily kill me or anybody else. not cool. but ill get there.
B) when i am in social situations, i only ever meet new people if i'm approached by them. I'm not the type of person to come up to you and talk to you unless i already know you. i'll smile if i see you in the hallway, but i wont make casual conversation.
C) sometimes when I'm invited out i honestly just want to stay at home and just enjoy my own company.
I'm lonely because I'm bad at making new friends. And that translates into singularity. you cant build a relationship without first building a friendship.
The title though is mostly focused on being single in relation to point B. I'm en extremely shy person before you get to know me. I am fun and energetic with people i know and am comfortable with but That's not everybody. And like i said it's hard for me to be social with new people unless they initiate the conversation. And that's a problem. Because also as previously mentioned, the only real social interaction i have these days is on sunday. and on sunday im wearing my sunday best, which usually includes a pretty high pair of heels, because it makes me feel confident in myself. but here's the issue. i'm already 5'10 and wearign heels puts me at eye level with my tallest guy friends. and that can be intimidating. so i say this.
Dear Intimidated,
I'm sorry I like to wear heels on sunday. I don't think it's fair for me not to be able to wear them. if they come in my size and i look good in them, I'm getting them. I'm sorry that even though I may appear it, I am not confident enough to come strike up a conversation with you about more than the weather. I really hope that we can come to some sort of agreement, I would really like to get to know you a lot better.
Sincerely, Shy.
Toodles
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