Hahahahaha this just made my day :) i figured i would share it :)
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
Blindsided.
Yes folks. this week i have been blind sided. whether it was meant or not, tears have just kept coming. and ive tried to let it all go, but its not going anywhere. and i apologize it this post is completely and utterly depressing. but i have to let off some steam. and if the dame who blindsided me is reading this thinking hmm, what is she talking about? well read on. that is if you really want to know what it was i was so sick about yesterday.
not even a week ago, i laid eyes on a gorgeous young man. me being absolutely full of butterflies about it and excited to get to know him suuuuuper well, told my cousin who is roughly 6 months younger than i. well we went about the activity we had been participating in that night, me not being able to keep my eyes off him, and her being her natural self, from what i could tell atleast.
so then the gist of the events were over and it was time to cool down with some refreshments and just socialize, so as i debated with myself whether or not to talk to him and get a word in there somewhere, i noticed that my cousin had been comfortably chatting it up with him for quite some time. (now if you know my cousin thats pretty normal, she is just really social. but shes also a big flirt, and i dont think she realizes, but i brushed it off) i joined in the conversation! it was grand, we chatted for i dont even know how long... then i had to leave a little early. so, being part french i turned to my cousin and 'secretly' said right in front of him "HES SO CUTE!!!!" in french of course... haha. and then i went home. (i had to work early the next morning)
so whatever i go about my week completely flabergasted. then i find out he asked her for her number... hmmm.... something is a little off. they went on a date. not completely harmless, but she couldnt just say no to the guy. she had told me that she wasnt interested, and she swore in all honesty that all she wanted was her missionary. so again i brushed it off. (i could be mixing up the events a little, but the ones im mixing arent terribly pivotal)
then friday rolled around and there was a ysa dance, and i was stoked. ***k wait a minute lets back up a little. before monday rolled around at the beginning of the story, i had just finished dealing with major boy drama. like aaaabbbsolutely used. i being the idiot girl believed he actually cared for me like more than a friend with benefits. hah. wrong... so i was advised to find someone to move on to. let go of user boy and find somebody better to focus my attention on, and that is what i decided to do with, (well lets just call him john) on monday. ok now we can continue... hah.*** so now that you know all that, alright its friday, so four days after we both officially met him.
she approached me with the news of the date, and that there could possibly be something there. i thought wahetever just sparks, ive still got a chance. i saw them slow dancing and all that. and with all the drama going on i ran to the bathroom and cried.... i could hold it in anymore.... i was hurt. she knew i liked him. and i did tell her that it was fine and that she could go ahead and continue going on. but really inside i was killing myself for telling her that... i liked him. freak why did i like him?!?! i had only known him for four days, i felt like a total idiot.... she came to the bathroom to comfort me. telling me i was beautiful and that i would find my prince charming and that idiot user boy deserved a punch in the face (which he did) as the night went on all i could see was my cousin and 'john'. and it killed me. i had to keep running to the bathroom and composing myself.
that night i told her, if she liked him to go for him. but i knew she had her missionary, and i hoped she would reject my proposal. but instead when i got a thankyou my heart sunk... but i couldnt tell her. she was happy. and i love her. i want her to be happy. yea i was bauling my face off. but i figured whatever shes got him and im just a shadow that waltzed by unnoticed. not the first time....
then saturday rolled around. still felt like a torpedo just ramed me in the stomach. then it was sunday. and i was surfing facebook... i saw my cousin had updated her relationship status to "in a relationship".... all through church i cried... every word of every song. every sound. i couldnt stop. and she was right there next to me, holding his hand....... and it killed me..... i couldnt hide it. i sucked at hiding it. but i kept my mouth shut. cuz she was laughing, she was happy, and i didnt matter. i was leaving in a month or so anyways.
she texted me later that day asking what was wrong. i told her i didnt want to talk about it, and i didnt. i knew i would get mad at her. and i didnt want to get mad at her. i figured as long as i didntsunday evening rolled around and i was still a teary mess.... so i slept it off. and now its today
before i started writing this post i went to read hers, cuz she had blogged about it (which is why i decided to blog about it) and the words in that post really pierced me.... i wont dish cuz those are her personal feelings and details. i will just say that it wasnt easy to read.
and thats my story. blindsided by my cousin who swore she wasnt interested. and of course she didnt mean it, she didnt mean to fall for him. but she knew i liked him. and she knew that what was going on between the two of them was really bugging me. but it kept going. i never even had a chance with him. and thats the end. i have no more words.
not even a week ago, i laid eyes on a gorgeous young man. me being absolutely full of butterflies about it and excited to get to know him suuuuuper well, told my cousin who is roughly 6 months younger than i. well we went about the activity we had been participating in that night, me not being able to keep my eyes off him, and her being her natural self, from what i could tell atleast.
so then the gist of the events were over and it was time to cool down with some refreshments and just socialize, so as i debated with myself whether or not to talk to him and get a word in there somewhere, i noticed that my cousin had been comfortably chatting it up with him for quite some time. (now if you know my cousin thats pretty normal, she is just really social. but shes also a big flirt, and i dont think she realizes, but i brushed it off) i joined in the conversation! it was grand, we chatted for i dont even know how long... then i had to leave a little early. so, being part french i turned to my cousin and 'secretly' said right in front of him "HES SO CUTE!!!!" in french of course... haha. and then i went home. (i had to work early the next morning)
so whatever i go about my week completely flabergasted. then i find out he asked her for her number... hmmm.... something is a little off. they went on a date. not completely harmless, but she couldnt just say no to the guy. she had told me that she wasnt interested, and she swore in all honesty that all she wanted was her missionary. so again i brushed it off. (i could be mixing up the events a little, but the ones im mixing arent terribly pivotal)
then friday rolled around and there was a ysa dance, and i was stoked. ***k wait a minute lets back up a little. before monday rolled around at the beginning of the story, i had just finished dealing with major boy drama. like aaaabbbsolutely used. i being the idiot girl believed he actually cared for me like more than a friend with benefits. hah. wrong... so i was advised to find someone to move on to. let go of user boy and find somebody better to focus my attention on, and that is what i decided to do with, (well lets just call him john) on monday. ok now we can continue... hah.*** so now that you know all that, alright its friday, so four days after we both officially met him.
she approached me with the news of the date, and that there could possibly be something there. i thought wahetever just sparks, ive still got a chance. i saw them slow dancing and all that. and with all the drama going on i ran to the bathroom and cried.... i could hold it in anymore.... i was hurt. she knew i liked him. and i did tell her that it was fine and that she could go ahead and continue going on. but really inside i was killing myself for telling her that... i liked him. freak why did i like him?!?! i had only known him for four days, i felt like a total idiot.... she came to the bathroom to comfort me. telling me i was beautiful and that i would find my prince charming and that idiot user boy deserved a punch in the face (which he did) as the night went on all i could see was my cousin and 'john'. and it killed me. i had to keep running to the bathroom and composing myself.
that night i told her, if she liked him to go for him. but i knew she had her missionary, and i hoped she would reject my proposal. but instead when i got a thankyou my heart sunk... but i couldnt tell her. she was happy. and i love her. i want her to be happy. yea i was bauling my face off. but i figured whatever shes got him and im just a shadow that waltzed by unnoticed. not the first time....
then saturday rolled around. still felt like a torpedo just ramed me in the stomach. then it was sunday. and i was surfing facebook... i saw my cousin had updated her relationship status to "in a relationship".... all through church i cried... every word of every song. every sound. i couldnt stop. and she was right there next to me, holding his hand....... and it killed me..... i couldnt hide it. i sucked at hiding it. but i kept my mouth shut. cuz she was laughing, she was happy, and i didnt matter. i was leaving in a month or so anyways.
she texted me later that day asking what was wrong. i told her i didnt want to talk about it, and i didnt. i knew i would get mad at her. and i didnt want to get mad at her. i figured as long as i didntsunday evening rolled around and i was still a teary mess.... so i slept it off. and now its today
before i started writing this post i went to read hers, cuz she had blogged about it (which is why i decided to blog about it) and the words in that post really pierced me.... i wont dish cuz those are her personal feelings and details. i will just say that it wasnt easy to read.
and thats my story. blindsided by my cousin who swore she wasnt interested. and of course she didnt mean it, she didnt mean to fall for him. but she knew i liked him. and she knew that what was going on between the two of them was really bugging me. but it kept going. i never even had a chance with him. and thats the end. i have no more words.
Friday, January 6, 2012
a new year, a new start.
oh hey there. happy new years everyone! i have almost survived a full week. im already getting tired of this end of the world news. dangit. oh well. im not afraid. i have everything i need. and besides, one of my resolutions this year is to be more positive :) so here i go into the new year, the year i finish my second decade. weeeiiiirdd.. it feels like just yesterday i spelt my name with every letter i could muster up. some of which im pretty sure didnt even exist. so technically i was probably not even spelling my name. but i sure felt smart!! so i guess thats what counts :) ooh wanna see my new years nails!! i love them!!
there they are. fireworks!! i didnt even get to see fireworks this year.. lame... aaaannnddd i didnt get a new years kiss. darn. oh well. positive... hah i danced until my legs were sore!! yaaaaayy calorie burning!!!
well i hope every body's new years was simply glorious. have a wonderful year everyone!! :)
there they are. fireworks!! i didnt even get to see fireworks this year.. lame... aaaannnddd i didnt get a new years kiss. darn. oh well. positive... hah i danced until my legs were sore!! yaaaaayy calorie burning!!!
well i hope every body's new years was simply glorious. have a wonderful year everyone!! :)
Friday, December 30, 2011
Do It Yourself
Hey everybody. back on the netbook :) so, Christmas is over, and everyone is getting ready to go back to school... well everyone except MEEE!!!! hahahaha. so i didn't get very good marks. ok i got bad marks this last semester, but its in the past and i cant change it. i tried while i was there, i really did, i just have gotten so distracte3d by the future and going to Ajax to be with my sister that school has kind of faded into the backdrop, and all i want to do is enjoy my life. so that's what I'm going to do.
ok yea school is important, but i mean if you're not having fun, and getting awful marks (and you were a near 4.0 student in high school) its time for a change! and nobody can change your life except you. i realized as i was stressing over exams, that in the end, whether i get an a in English or not, I'm going to be fine, and I'm going to have fun doing it!!! so that was my epiphany, and it has changed my life.
along with that, a while back my more than wise friend in the states told me that it doesn't matter how you're feeling, you should always show the facebook world that you are doing just awesome. and not only the facebook world, but the people around you in general. lets face it, nobody wants to be friends with a crabby pants. and let me tell you it shows in his life. I'm across the border from him, and his life through the pictures and status updates seems nothing short of fantastic. he makes his little baby girl seem as if she could lift weights with her pinky, just because she's that cool, but shes just a normal little lump of joy :)
so, i guess that's my little tidbit of information for the day. if you want something done, do it yourself. live a happier life, because you choose to. go get an education, because you choose to. dye your hair lime green for all i care!!! if you want to do it, the only thing getting in your way, is you.
aaaannnd while were at the do it yourself thing, i finished a gift for a friend of a friend down at weber :) here it is :)
i hope you all had a fantastic Christmas!!! later days :)
ok yea school is important, but i mean if you're not having fun, and getting awful marks (and you were a near 4.0 student in high school) its time for a change! and nobody can change your life except you. i realized as i was stressing over exams, that in the end, whether i get an a in English or not, I'm going to be fine, and I'm going to have fun doing it!!! so that was my epiphany, and it has changed my life.
along with that, a while back my more than wise friend in the states told me that it doesn't matter how you're feeling, you should always show the facebook world that you are doing just awesome. and not only the facebook world, but the people around you in general. lets face it, nobody wants to be friends with a crabby pants. and let me tell you it shows in his life. I'm across the border from him, and his life through the pictures and status updates seems nothing short of fantastic. he makes his little baby girl seem as if she could lift weights with her pinky, just because she's that cool, but shes just a normal little lump of joy :)
so, i guess that's my little tidbit of information for the day. if you want something done, do it yourself. live a happier life, because you choose to. go get an education, because you choose to. dye your hair lime green for all i care!!! if you want to do it, the only thing getting in your way, is you.
i hope you all had a fantastic Christmas!!! later days :)
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Been forever...
hola people!!! so update. last time i wrote about the eighties themed dance. so i went and it was alright, brad had to work till quarter after ten and so he didn't get there till twenty minutes to the end. after that we got ice cream and McDonald's cuz that's about the only store that was open... ha well since then brad has completely shunned me and we are no longer friends... hmm... oh well!! his loss :) so... ITS CHRISTMAS EVE!!!!! :D stinking so excited to feast in an hour or so.... AAAHH!!!!!! oh, and I'm blogging from my new NETBOOK!!!! so i will probably be blogging more often now.. hahaha. man did it ever feel good to walk out of that last exam a week ago.... holy man pits.... i am soooooo excited to go to Ontario in a couple months!!!! WOOOOHOOOO!!!!! :D love y'all!! i guess ill out pics on from the dance like my makeup and hair and all that shtufff. anyways MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! in an hour... <3 xoxoxo
Friday, December 16, 2011
The Exam Prayer
Now I lay me down to study,
I pray the Lord I don't go nutty,
If I should fail to learm this junk,
I pray the Lord I do not flunk,
And if I die don't bury me at all,
Just lay my bones in the study hall,
And pile my books upon my chest,
And tell my teachers I did my best,
So now I lay me down to rest,
And pray I pass tomorrow's test,
And if I die before I wake,
That's one less test I'll have to take.
A little lovely humor near the end of exams... get me out of here!!
Later y'all
I pray the Lord I don't go nutty,
If I should fail to learm this junk,
I pray the Lord I do not flunk,
And if I die don't bury me at all,
Just lay my bones in the study hall,
And pile my books upon my chest,
And tell my teachers I did my best,
So now I lay me down to rest,
And pray I pass tomorrow's test,
And if I die before I wake,
That's one less test I'll have to take.
A little lovely humor near the end of exams... get me out of here!!
Later y'all
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