Fresh

Hey guuuuuys!!! I'm back!!!

I have been completely off the blogosphere this last year. I'm sure you were all just peachy without me, but I figured I should get on here more, I miss it truth be told!! I have words to say and I much prefer saying them here. And I know I've said it a few times and failed, but I really do want to blog more often. My life seems to become more organized when I take the time to think about its contents and reflect more on what does and doesn't need to be done now and in the future.

2014 was a year with a whole lot of challenges for me, and I'm excited to continue on into a new year. I'm not setting and lofty goals or anything like that, I just want to be a better me. If that means being better at doing laundry, or getting rid of the mounds of clothes I've collected, or knowing when to reach out to those in need, or just getting out of my house more. This year I'm going to be better to myself in any small or large way I can. Simple as that.

I realize it probably means next to nothing to be reading my personal goals for the new year, even I personally hate those posts. But that's exactly why I'm not posting it on any social media site, texting anybody, or anything like that. If you want to read it, it's complete up to you. And it's the same for me. I won't be able to improve myself unless I'm completely motivated to do it. Writing it down is a great first step.

So here goes. Taking my first steps into a new year with new opportunities. And I'm going to embrace as many as I can. Hopefully I'll come here and document some of them for you guys!

Till next time :) here's to a fresh start

OJ

Sometimes, you have expectations for your life. Good expectations. And you go about making choices, so those expectations are met.
But more often than not, you get a couple curve balls along the way. And you can't seem to understand why your plans aren't moving forward.
Life has given you an orange. And you're thinking to yourself, I don't know what to do with this orange, how the heck am I supposed to make lemonade with an orange? What the heck, I'm so mad. Thanks life, you're real swell.
But then through lessons learnt and experience gained you realize that that orange wasn't for lemonade. It was instead meant for a refreshing glass of OJ.
And it isn't until that moment that you can see the OJ was the better option anyways. You had just only learnt about the goodness of lemonade, it's not your fault.

So all in all, don't be discouraged if life doesn't go as planned. Don't stress, have a glass of OJ, and just be thankful. Every thought, experience, happiness, sadness, trial and triumph, happens for a reason. Don't let the moment discourage you from your future. It's brighter than you can tell.

Later all ;)

On the Outside: Through Rose Colored Glasses

hello again all y'all. been a while huh? sorry bout that. life is crazy busy these days. but that's another matter. on to the blog post.

i gave a talk in church the other day on the topic of friendship, and it's helped me put some thoughts together in a way i can express so that you might understand what i'm trying to get across.
if you wanted to read it, here it is:

The topic that I have been assigned to speak on today is friendship.

I am going to introduce my topic by sharing with you an account of one of Elder Marlin K Jensen’s personal experiences given in a conference address in the spring of 1999:

“Years ago when I was serving as a bishop, a recently converted family moved into our rural Utah community. These good people had joined the Church in the eastern United States and had been warmly fellowshipped and put to work in a small branch there. When they came to our larger, more-established ward, they somehow slipped through the cracks. Some of the family members, particularly the father, became disenchanted with the Church and its members.

One Sunday morning when I noticed the father was missing from priesthood meeting, I left the meetinghouse and drove to his home. He invited me in, and we had a very honest conversation about the struggle he was having with his new faith and neighbors. After exploring various possibilities for responding to his concerns, none of which seemed to appeal to him very much, I asked him with a tone of frustration in my voice just what we could do to help him. I’ve never forgotten his reply:

“Well, bishop,” he said (and I will need to paraphrase here slightly), “for heaven’s sake, whatever you do, please don’t assign me a friend.”

I learned a great lesson that day. No one wants to become a “project”; we all want spontaneously to be loved. And, if we are to have friends, we want them to be genuine and sincere, not “assigned.””

It is so important to be genuine when reaching out to others in our ward families. Often times as we go through life, our schedules get so over cluttered that we forget, and almost feel burdened by the basic need for friendship. And that need is so deeply rooted within us. Marlin K Jensen also said in the same talk (which I do recommend you go back and read) titled ‘Friendship: A Gospel Principle’

“I feel that friendship is a fundamental need of our world. I think in all of us there is a profound longing for friendship, a deep yearning for the satisfaction and security that close and lasting relationships can give. Perhaps one reason the scriptures make little specific mention of the principle of friendship is because it should be manifest quite naturally as we live the gospel.”

Each friendship develops in a different way and is unique to those involved. Everybody has different personal needs that friendship is designed to help alleviate. Whether it be a shoulder to lean on heavily, someone to call and chat with about nothing, someone  to remind you that you’re appreciated; when you start to get to know a person on a deeper level of trust and love, the spirit will manifest to you the things that that individual needs. And if you feel as though you can’t fill those needs on your own, pray and ask with sincerity what your heavenly father would do. Perhaps this friendship is meant to strengthen you as much as it is to strengthen the other, or maybe your heavenly father just needs someone to sincerely pray for them.

As I continued to read elder Jensen’s talk I came across a familiar scripture mastery in Moroni Chapter 7. And then ElderJensen did something that struck me as I was writing this talk. He switched just one word. Moroni Chapter 7 verse 45-47: And friendship suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things….Wherefore cleave unto friendship, which is the greatest of all, for all must fail-But friendship is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.

Now those are some pretty strong words. When I read that scripture in that context a whole new window opened and I kind of had a light bulb moment. I’ve always known that friendships were important, but I never realized how profoundly important until that moment. Friendship in that context doesn’t count as a hello to your next door neighbour whenever they happen to cross your path or a passing glance in the hallway. Those things are great and you should do those, but every individual in and out of the gospel needs at least one true and lasting friend whom they can confide and trust in. Elder Richard G Scott at a BYU devotional in August of 1982 spoke of friendship, and he recounted this experience:

I participated in Church activities, but somehow felt I was always at the periphery. I would approach Mutual activities daydreaming of a glorious evening dancing with the most popular girls in the ward. The reality of each evening was quite different. As I sat on the sidelines and watched others enjoying themselves, I felt somehow left out, not part of the central group. The same occurred in school. Though I felt comfortable in the academic activities, the social and sport activities left me feeling alone and unwanted. It wasn’t until later in life that I realized it was largely my fault.

I have since learned that one cannot demand love and respect or require that the bonds of friendship and appreciation be extended as an unearned right. These blessings must be earned. They come from personal merit. Sincere concern for others, selfless service, and worthy example qualify one for such respect. All my rationalization that others had formed select groups and knowingly ruled out my participation was largely a figment of my imagination. Had I practiced correct principles, I need not have felt alone.

Joseph smith himself once said: Friendship is one of the grand fundamental principles of ‘Mormonism’. We are so privileged in this gospel to have an atmosphere conducive to making, growing and keeping lasting friendships with those who share our love of Christ. From young ages we are given multiple opportunities in scouts, young women's, young men's, relief society, priesthood, sunday school, church meetings and so much more, to reach, and be reached out to. But as Elder Scott recognized, we can not expect friendship from others if we do not first make an effort to be friendly. I know this first hand as I was extremely shy especially in my younger years and would wonder why I didn’t have very many truly best friends. I realized later on that it was only through mutual efforts that I found, and still have wonderful friendships.

This past Sunday was an extremely tough change for a lot of us, particularly myself. But as I talked with a good friend of mine about it on the drive home I became more and more excited to expand my group of friends and come to love the members of this new ward. I am not one who adjusts to change well, so for me to become so excited that early on is a pretty big deal. Our heavenly father knows us individually, he knows exactly what we need, and he often works through us to help one another, and when we act as instruments in his hands, we are granted the blessing of being the answer to someone else’s prayer. And I can’t help but see that as such an amazing blessing. Nothing could bring me more joy than to know that someone else’s prayers were answered, and their spirits lifted because of my actions. I have made friends that have been huge answers to my prayers in time of need, and knowing how relieved and cared for I felt in that moment, both by my Heavenly Father and my newest friend, makes the blessing of being on the giving end of that scale, so much more powerful.

Relating back to our ever cluttered schedule, Elder Jensen also said this:

There is a particular challenge we face as Latter-day Saints in establishing and maintaining friendships. Because our commitment to marriage, family, and the Church is so strong, we often feel challenged by constraints of time and energy in reaching out in friendship to others beyond that core group.

How selfish we can be. How unwilling to be inconvenienced, to give, to bless and be blessed. What kind of parents or neighbors or servants of the Lord Jesus Christ can we be without being a friend? In this information age, is not friendship still the best technology for sharing the truths and way of life we cherish? Is not our reluctance voluntarily to reach out to others in friendship a significant obstacle to helping God accomplish His eternal purposes?

Ouch. Wake up call much? Having a schedule with wholesome and important activities isn’t a bad thing, but being so distracted by worldly accomplishments that we forget to reach out to one another in love and service, is going against one of the most fundamental and important teachings of our Savior. And we cant forget to include those whom we come across that aren’t members of our faith. Our task in this life more than anything else, is to reach out and be a friend.

I have been blessed with the gift of great friendships in my life, and they have come through for me answering prayers time and time again. I really hope that I can be a friend to each of you, and that we all embrace this new change and become one in Christ. There is a special kind of peace that is achieved when a ward becomes a family, closely knit together in friendship.  I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and I’m excited to see what our Heavenly Father has in store, and I know that if we truly want to be tools in the hands of our Heavenly Father in bringing to pass His eternal purposes, we need only to be a friend.

so that was the talk. i was really excited to talk about this particular topic, because i have a lot of very strong opinions on it. one of them leads into the topic of this blog post. and that's reaching out to others regardless of apparent circumstance.

we generally tend to look at the lives of others through rose colored glasses, especially in comparison to our own. and we really shouldn't. just because i don't broadcast my issues on every social media site i'm signed up for, doesn't mean they don't exist. i'm not going to talk to you about my problems unless you genuinely ask me about them. take off your rose colored glasses and realize that everybody has issues just like you do, and their life is no better than yours.

relating to this is something that strikes a deeper chord with circumstances i've found myself in. i try my best to be friends with everybody. i love making new friends. its hard, but i try my darndest to include and be nice to those i meet. naturally one would think that because of that, i have a whole bunch of close friends that i can call to hang out at anytime. nuhun mister, you'd be wrong!

i feel like people assume, that just because someone seems to have it together, and appear popular on the surface, that they would already have been invited or are already busy doing something else instead. news flash. this is hardly ever the case. everybody gets lonely. even the truly "popular"ones.

from friends that i've talked to, it seems like being "popular" isn't exactly all its cracked up to be. yea sure you've got a ton of friends that look up to you and would love to come shopping with you if you offered. but let me ask you something. would you feel comfortable calling most of those people late at night when you just need a friend to talk to? or share your most troubling deep secrets in hopes that they'll understand and listen to you? i doubt it. there are probably a couple in that group of people that fall into that category, but they won't always be able to help you when you need them.

so here's my proposition; reach out. if ever you feel like you should call someone, call them up! send a happy text to random people in your contact list. perhaps even the ones you haven't talked to in years! i know that personally, if i got a text or invite from someone regardless of our standing as friends/acquaintances or the like, i would only be flattered. no harm can come from it!! so why is it so hard?

that's something i don't understand even for myself. so what do ya say, wanna take off your rose colored glasses with me? wanna reach out to those around you and be a friend?

later all :)

Dear Intimidated, Sincerely Shy

Hey all!! I'm sorry im so bad at blogging. my life isnt really all that interesting and i dont want to bore you with unimportant details! but its that time of year and i feel like publicly expressing my feelings!

So.
I'm single and im ok with it. yea i get lonely every once in a while. but that's not because im single, it's because of several other reasons all combined into one big frustrating UUUAAAGHHHH
A) I live in a small town without a car or license to get myself places to meet people outside of sunday meetings. that sucks, and i dont like not having a license. Practicing scares me though. i don't like the feeling of being nervous behind a big machine that could easily kill me or anybody else. not cool. but ill get there.
B) when i am in social situations, i only ever meet new people if i'm approached by them. I'm not the type of person to come up to you and talk to you unless i already know you. i'll smile if i see you in the hallway, but i wont make casual conversation.
C) sometimes when I'm invited out i honestly just want to stay at home and just enjoy my own company.

I'm lonely because I'm bad at making new friends. And that translates into singularity. you cant build a relationship without first building a friendship.

The title though is mostly focused on being single in relation to point B. I'm en extremely shy person before you get to know me. I am fun and energetic with people i know and am comfortable with but That's not everybody. And like i said it's hard for me to be social with new people unless they initiate the conversation. And that's a problem. Because also as previously mentioned, the only real social interaction i have these days is on sunday. and on sunday im wearing my sunday best, which usually includes a pretty high pair of heels, because it makes me feel confident in myself. but here's the issue. i'm already 5'10 and wearign heels puts me at eye level with my tallest guy friends. and that can be intimidating. so i say this.

Dear Intimidated,
I'm sorry I like to wear heels on sunday. I don't think it's fair for me not to be able to wear them. if they come in my size and i look good in them, I'm getting them. I'm sorry that even though I may appear it, I am not confident enough to come strike up a conversation with you about more than the weather. I really hope that we can come to some sort of agreement, I would really like to get to know you a lot better.
Sincerely, Shy.

Toodles

Stuck in L.A: A Long-winded Adventure Story

Well hello there fellow Internet stalkers, surfers and citizens of all kinds.

Today I am going to tell you a story.

Of a series of unfortunate events that have graced me with their presence on my way home.

'From where??' You ask

Different story. That's for later.

For now I'm allowing you to hopefully get some sort of comical relief from my pain. Consider yourself lucky Internet friends!!

As background to this story you must know that I took a two week trip to New Zealand with a group of friends. I'm not a huge traveller's, the opportunity just presented itself and I thought ah what the hey YOLO right? Except I hate that term... So I'm gonna say YOYO. You're only young once.

I had the money in my account and figured I would regret not going so I blew it all.

Alright enough background.

So the two weeks are coming to an end and everyone is leaving one at a time.

I had originally planned to sleep in the airport on the night of the 15th, but when I thought long and hard (solid hour) I realized it would be dumb of me when there's a spare bed in the room my final traveling buddy is staying in until early the next morning.

He would be leaving too early for me to notice him leave so it was just fine.

We went to bed early NZ time to help cushion the jet lag that would undoubtedly face us upon our arrival in a time zone 20 hrs ahead of the one we were currently staying in.

I quickly discovered however that I wasn't tired... And found myself trying so hard not to chuckle at the random noises coming from my pal in the other bed.

I was doing a great job at being quiet. The rustling of the sheets were pretty much the loudest noise I made.

And then.... my bladder...

I got the uncontrollable urge to pee

Darn...

So I lay there. Trying to evaluate the situation.

I tried to think back to the last time I had used the washroom... it wasn’t that long ago was it??

How loud was the flush? Loud enough to wake my peacefully sleeping roomie?

Nothing... maybe the flush wasn’t so loud? yeeea you’ll be fine!

So I compose myself, gathering what I can to accomplish my mission making as little noise as possible.

As I tiptoe out of bed and into the bathroom in the dark, visions of the Grinch stealing Christmas from the Whos in Whoville pop into my mind

Yea, as quiet as the Grinch who stole Christmas... good one *mental high-five*

*keeping in mind here it’s less than ten days till Christmas and I’ve just spent two weeks in summer weather. My Christmas fever is at an all-time high and it was really on my brain. Obviously...*

I close the door and turn the light on.

Phase one complete.

I get so caught up in my success that I go about my business and as a force of habit I flush without blinking...

WHAM!!!

CRAP!! I woke him up, I woke him up, I woke him up!!! Noooo!!

I wash my hands, head dipped

Defeat.

I walk out of the bathroom only to find him (from what I could gather, or rather I just hoped) still sleeping.

Sweet!! Back to bed with a clear conscience.

By this point it’s pretty late and I’m getting tired.

By the time I wake up he’s already gone.

I check the window and just by freaky coincidence I catch sight of him walking away.

BYE!!

I start to gather my things and then I get really bored...

TV it is.

After scrolling through what seemed endless news channels I settle for a kids cartoon broadcast

Pingu. Score. Loved that show as a kid.

Then I remembered Pingu only ever lasts a solid five minutes...

Beyblades....ugh.

I watch another solid couple hours of TV then decide I might go insane, grab my things and head for the lobby.

I checkout and hand the clerk my room keys, ready to waste what should have been ten hours

I stop by the grocery store, grab some snacks for the flight, bum around a clothing store, then head over to Carls Jr.

I’m not a big breakfast person so I kill about an hour and then order my food.

I tried to take my time eating it but it was way too tasty

It’s about noon when I toss the last hash brown into my trap and sink down into my seat, bracing myself for the potential food coma.

Then I realize I’m in a fast food restaurant will all my luggage, and a nap probably isn’t appropriate.

Back to the hotel.

I figured a nap in the lobby was better than a nap on a fast food restaurant bench.

Yea?

Yea. But I still had six hours to kill before I should even consider walking to the airport.

So…. Bored....

I’m nowhere near any beaches.

There’s rainfall in the forecast anyways.

No Wi-Fi.

My phone, iPod, and tablet are all below 20% battery life

I don’t even remember what the heck I did but I made it through, collecting a couple glances and funny looks from incoming and outgoing hotel guests

The clerk even came and asked me if I was waiting for a room key.

Thank you concerned citizen :)

You’re nice

But no I’m just alone in your country with nothing else to do.

Carry on.

The time comes for me to walk over and as I’m walking I come to the conclusion that my small carry on suitcase wasn’t engineered to handle bumps around sharp corners.

I found myself impatiently stopping, turning and re-adjusting my suitcase several times along the five minute walk.

Feeling like an impatient mother whose child doesn't want to walk, I finally arrive at the airport

(Five minutes, painful I know)

I fuss with the check-in bag tags and forms and make it upstairs, backpack and passport at the ready.

I browse the shops just because I feel like it, sipping from my water bottle every once in a while.

But not too much to spoil the doom that is my 12 hour flight out of NZ

I check my surroundings and people watch to evaluate the situation, and decide I may as well go through customs.

There’s a cute new family in front of me doing what appears to be some last minute re checking of the flight essentials.

I relax.

All is well with me and my backpack.

Memories of the trip run through my mind.

Beaches.

Caves.

Mountains.

Green EVERYWHERE.

Poor dehydrated friends.

*oh, getting thirsty*

Wait.... OOPS!! Gotta drink the water!!

So much for not spoiling the flight...

I get through customs and find a spot to sit

I want to sleep, so I give it my best shot and get nowhere.

Hmm... bookstore!

It’s been a while since I bought a good book, and they made it too easy with their big sign advertising a top 50 reccomended books list.

*yes I succumbed to the classic retail marketing trap.

What of it? at least I did it with my eyes completely open.*

So I wander through the aisles, reading the first couple paragraphs of every few books till I settle on one that draws me in.

*if you’re curious it was The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown. Who also wrote The Da Vinci Code*

No more than a couple pages in I hear an announcement on the PA, and I brush it off like all the rest.

Then I realize it was for my flight.... oops...

I take a gander at the flight schedule board ahead of me, and right next to my flight number it said

RELAX

Ok. Cool. So I do the exact opposite.

I start second guessing what I heard, looking around frantically

Then I look at the board again, comparing it to my boarding pass.

Hmm... odd

The time on my pass said 20:30...

But the board said 22:45...

Hmm... I do some quick math and a slow panic starts to settle...

With my new flight time plugged in I would be scheduled to land in LA at 14:00

K... cool.

Except boarding for my connection is supposed to be at 13:45....

UUUUMMMMM

CRAP

I run over to the help desk and he’s looking at me like I have bright blue skin and a peacock on my noggin or something

You’re fine he says, you’ve still got 25 mins till boarding.

And I’m thinking, ok you clearly don’t understand my problem

So I go off to boarding in hopes of finding someone who can help.

There are lines everywhere...

I pick one at random. Hoping to goodness it’s the right one.

Nope. Change lines.

There we go

The two ladies in line in front of me seem to know each other and are going on about window seats

One of which seems really upset and the other seems to be attempting to calm her down

The mad one gets up to the counter and rips the lady a freshie...

I paid for a window seat and I KNOW B is not a window seat. You lied. You shouldn’t lie. Don’t lie.

Blah blah blah

And I’m thinking poor clerk

I feel your pain fellow retail associate, I feel your pain.

The lady behind her, much more cheerfuly walks up just kinda laughs and points back at her friend same problem

Then it’s my turn

She seems a tad flustered from her previous encounter but is hiding it well, so I do my best to be pleasant

She tells me my flight will be rescheduled but only after my current plane leaves so they can get a fair estimate of my arrival

Makes sense

All is well and I finally relax.

Then I see the line.. I walk back through the airport

In about a minutes time I’ve reached the end.

Keeping in mind I walk fast and I just want to get on that plane and out.

So long...

But luckily it moved fast

*this is getting really long.... sorry*

In flight I watched a couple movies to pass time.

But remember that bottle of water?

Yea.

So everyone is sleeping, seats reclined and all

And I have to pee.

I evaluate, and decide on a plan of attack.

Stepping on only the armrests, I walk over the two people next to me

Safe. Nobody stirred

NINJA

Then I peed.

Safely back in my seat I caught some shut eye.

Watched a couple movies after I woke up and we were finally in L.A.

About an hour and a half after planned landing time :/

I get through the grueling customs line

Grab my bag

Ask a couple people where to go to get redirected to my next flight.

Wait patiently and get tugged around a couple times.

Make friends with a nice older couple who helped the time go by.

And then it was my turn...

I walk up to the counter with a cheery demeanor

That starts to fade when I more clearly understand what she's saying to me.

"Your connecting flight was missed and there won't be another one flying out until tomorrow morning at seven."

I've been waiting to get home now for roughly a day and I'm too emotionally spent to care what everybody else thinks of me right now...

Tears start to well up in my eyes.

"Just go out the doors and look for the big red Hilton sign"

She had to repeat it to me a few times before I could bring myself to walk off.

If you've ever been in the L.A. Airport you know it's extremely overwhelming..

So after a couple tries at figuring out where the heck this big red sign is, I go to the customer service desk and ask politely for directions.

He looks at me like I've made some extremely uncommon mistake and rudely points it out to me.

Gee thanks. The tears in my eyes weren’t a big enough hint to you that im just having a bad day?

Rude.

I walk over and wait for the right shuttle to the Hilton Hotel.

By the time it arrives I'm pretty much composed, no more tears.

I get to the hotel and the clerk hands me my keys.

5th floor two bed room with a dinner and breakfast voucher.

I walk into my room and throw myself onto the bed.

Finally some room to breathe.

After a couple more emotional episodes I go to the lobby and Skype call my dad

He was unfortunately waiting for me at the Calgary airport...

I tried to reach him earlier but there was no way I could.

The Wi-Fi in the NZ airport is only good for an hour and I used it to email him before I realized I would be on a delayed flight home.

I go back upstairs to grab my meal vouchers.

At this point I’m not really that hungry cuz I’ve been snacking nervously on chocolate bars and crackers I had planned on bringing home... oops?

Looking through the menu I decide to order some wings, a pulled pork sandwich and a slice of apple pie.

I figured because I was in a fancy hotel restaurant the servings would be small... right?

I had $40 after all and I intended to use it.

So she brings me my wings.

Each wing was at least three inches long and an inch and a half wide at its meatiest section...

Uhoh...

I eat four and along comes my sandwich.

Solid eight inches long stuffed overflowing with pulled pork.

And the fries on the side?

About a serving and a half of Costco fries...

Crap...

I ate most of the sandwich.

Reaching frequently for my water to wash it down.

Then the pie.

Luckily the pie was the size I had hoped it would be.

That was gone in minutes.

I stayed in the restaurant for about another fifteen minutes until I was done most of my massive supper

Upstairs to shower.

Glorious....

Everything went smoothly from then on.

Other than once in the airplane having to go pee...

And having to wait like fifteen minutes in line for this older lady

I felt bad for her :(

I don’t ever want to have to pee on a plane pushing 60

So that’s my story.

Long

Drawn out

But oh well!!

I hope you guys all got a kick out of it!

Sorry it was so late. Life’s crazy these days!!

Perhaps one of these days ill catch you up a bit

Toodles!!

The Optimistic Cha Cha

all my life i have been doing the optimistic cha cha.
for those of you who are at this moment contorting your faces all puzzled-like, let me clarify.

i haven't always had this perspective that's for sure

but now that i do, how can i possibly be sad about doing the cha cha?

i mean really.

life isn't about being perfect all at once in everything.

the only perfection one can truly achieve is this:

                perfection in learning how to be imperfect.

once you can truly say that you are happy and grateful with your flaws and imperfections, at that moment you have truly embraced the definition of perfection

let that soak in for a second

funny huh?

lets expand

i accomplish tasks given to me best when i evaluate myself first, for example:
               if i'm asked to run a marathon, there is no way i could pick myself up and just go at it right then no matter how
               determined i am.
               i have to evaluate the situation
                    how good am i at running?
                    how long will it take for me to get good at running?
               then i take the steps to reach "perfection"
               that is if i want to.
               personally, i'm not up for running a marathon. i like to go on random jogs just for fun
               and to me, that's perfection enough.

perfection isn't the same for everybody. set goals for yourself and achieve them at your own pace
nobody can tell you you're not good enough
you are always good enough so long as you let yourself see it.

so what do ya say?

wanna do the optimistic cha cha with me?

toodles

thanks to a rotten tooth

have you ever had a tooth ache before?
if you answered no, consider yourself lucky.
if you answered yes, i have shared your pain.
this last thursday i was watching an episode of house in our home theater. i have been experiencing minor tooth aches for weeks now. i get really bad cavities... :(
but this time it was way over the top. i was keeled over in pain. crying hysterically. it didnt matter what i did it just kept getting worse. i tried an ice pack, i tried chamomile tea, i tried biting my tongue to focus myself on something else. i even tried talking about it to someone whom i knew wouldnt really be able to help considering he was miles away and extremely busy.
so i got down on my knees, and i prayed.
call me crazy but i have never poured out my heart to my savior like that before.
my mom has always told me that everythign is spiritual first, so i knew immediately that this prayer wasnt just going to be about my raging toothache. it was about everything i was goung through, both physical, and spiritual, emotional and familial.
my life is hard. im sure there are a but load of people who have it harder, but for what i can handle, my life is super tough. im not going to go into details because this just isnt the place, but the moment i got on my knees and started praying to my father in heaven, it just all came out.
i was already hysterical from the pain, and more tears started flowing as the words started spilling out.
i went from thankful, to angry, to silent and everything in between.
but wanna know the funny thing? it completely turned me around.
my tooth was still roaring the rest of the night, but my heavenly father just had to get me in a time of vulnerability, and a time of need, for me to really seek him and trust him.
and it was coincidentally right before conference weekend.
i was given the opportunity that day to go to conference, and it almost didnt work out, but i went. and let me tell you. what an amazing weekend.

i got to have a heart to heart with my very best girlfriend, and man did i ever need that. i love the friends i have in alberta, i really do. but nothing comes close to Syd.
Ever since we met in grade ten she has been right by my side when i needed a shoulder to cry on, to vent to. She will always be my very best friend.
and i only have two people that i can really say that about. that i can say that i could really trust to be there in a pinch. neither of them live terribly close, but any time i see them its like nothing ever changed. we pick life up right where we dropped it. and i love it.
There is no greater feeling than that of knowing that you are loved. especially when you can reciprocate that love.

so in short. my perspective has been completely altered, all because of a toothache.
so thank you crappy teeth
thank you very much.