Blogging in Bed

So its currently 11:30 pm on February sixteenth. I was about to go to bed when i decided to turn on my computer and listen to music. I decided the first song to play would be about this boy i cant get off my mind. And do you wanna take a stab at what it was? “Can't Fight This Feeling” by Glee. Yep. That’s what it was. I kinda wanted to laugh at the irony of it all. Except contrary to the words in the song i haven’t been hiding how i feel. I suck at hiding it. But we are staying friends. That’s whats best hah, and i like it that way. He still makes me laugh. I’m still getting to know him really well. And maybe one day in the not-too-distant future something will change in him and he will see me in a different light. But for now i am happy being single.

I am excited to go and see my sister. I am excited to learn to one day be the best mom i can. I am excited to go and see old friends again. I am excited to go and make my own memories and dare to travel on my own adventures. I am doing things because i want to. Not because it is what the world sees fit. Not because it is what my parents see fit. But because i see fit.

I am the only one who has the power over my life, and i am the one who is going to make it the best it can be. I am going to fill it with memories and smiles along the way. I am going to grow up and out and towards the ultimate goal of finding my eternal companion and raring children in my Heavenly Fathers' kingdom. I am who i am because of the choices i have made. And because i was loved by others i am inclined to love others. I am excited to spend this time with my nieces and nephew. And this other new addition to the family of whom i know nothing about haha.

My oldest niece Trista asked me the other day if i would be able to attend her ballet recital in may. And of course i said yes, i will for sure be there. Then i realized how much of a huge role i am going to be playing in these little ladies' lives. I am their only auntie, and heck am i ever going to be a fun one!! i want them to grow up and remember the time when auntie Maddie moved in and played barbie with them every day for months and months. I want them to remember how much fun we will have. I want them to remember how much i love them. Because i love them sooooo much. They’re fantastic kids. My sister has done a fantastic job :)

While we're on the topic i want to express how much i truly love my older sister Megan. She is ten years older than me, and my one and only sister. Ever since i can remember, growing up we always shared a room (that is until you got married and moved out haha gross) i would always get into her stuff and she would get mad at me for it. But i knew she loved me, and i knew she loved me too. I remember that awful water bed we shared for i don’t know how many years... (and you totally made me believe that there were fish in it) i also remember building forts and rocking out to The Backstreet Boys “You Are My Fire” hahahahaha oh those were the good days. I miss them. And I'm excited to make even more with you again now that ten years has passed. :)

well its now almost twelve, and time to hit the sack. I will post this and probably add to it. Night y'all!!