because of love

dear bloggers, internet surfers and everyone else in between...
today i had an epiphany, and i am going to share it with you.

now i should be going to bed because it is midnight and i work early in the morning tomorrow, but i feel like perhaps there is somebody out there who needs to hear what i have to say. so, whether i know you or not, listen up. this is for you.

so recently my life has taken many a twist and turn, and i have wound up here. i can't say the journey has been perfect and fun every step of the way... if you don't already know, let me be the first to tell you, the most important lessons in life, are those learnt through the toughest times. guaranteed.

for some reason, us humans, we are extremely stubborn, and we don't allow ourselves to see that we need to learn a lesson until we have hit rock bottom. and let me tell you from experience, rock bottom.... that sucks. but despite that fact.... because it's rock bottom, there is no way but up, and despite what you might think, there is always going to be a hand reaching out for you to grab while you're at the bottom of that hole. you just have to let yourself see it. and once you see it, grab hold of it, and never let it go.

now that last part is easier said than done. we get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that we forget that we need a hand to hold. we need somebody to talk to when times get tough... otherwise our problems, our frustrations, our guilt -you name it- it all gets bottled up inside of us until we allow ourselves to once again, reach rock bottom. but remember, there is always a hand. always.

so. now that I've exploded my intro all over this post, it's time to tie it back to the title. because of love...
remember that hand we talked about just a second ago? well that's what this post is about. that hand is there because whoever it belongs to, it extending it to you because of love. and not that gushy, physical, corny love you see in movies all the time... but the love you might feel for a complete stranger you notice is going through a hard time. the love you might feel towards someone, who despite the fact that they are rude, and selfish and blind, you would do anything for them. because of love; because of charity.

if you are a regular reader, you should know by now that i am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, or, more commonly known, I am a Mormon. and in the Latter Day Saint church, we believe, or define, charity to be the pure love of Christ. so for the remainder of this post, i am going to attempt to use the word charity, instead of love. forgive me if a couple of times i forget, but i feel i need to get my point across, and the word love just doesn't cut it.

so, i am going to tell you a small story. a story about someone whom i care for deeply, and for whom i would do anything.

there is a young man in my life, who is going through an exceptionally hard trial. it hasn't happened over night, and it didn't come as a surprise to him. you see, through his actions -stubborn behavior, ignorance, rebellion, you name it- he has isolated himself from the ones he loves. he has pushed everyone away in anger, frustration, and confusion. He doesn't know who else to turn to. he has become numb in a sense.

and it hurts me to see him like this. because of charity. He has hurt me in his journey, multiple times. each time i was hurt, some more than others. i got angry multiple times. but the epiphany i had today made me realize something. it brought to my attention the importance of being that hand. the importance of feeling, and acting on charity. there will always be a shortage of people that care. but there will never be a shortage or reasons to care.

i have come across many people in my life who have hurt me, and walked out of my life without so much as a goodbye. I'm not going to lie. most of them i was glad to see leave. and i really hope that they saw that there was somebody there for them when they needed to be picked up; whoever that may have been.

i can't change the past, that's a given. but what i can do is create a brighter future. and yea yea i know I'm just feeding you all fortune cookie bogus but going back to the beginning of this post, someone somewhere needs to read these words. and hopefully these words are that nip in the but that helps you reach out for that hand when you've hit rock bottom.

i hope the ones i hold dear in my life know how much i truly care for them, and how much charity i feel towards them (if that makes sense) so with that i will leave a quote i read the other day when at one of my best friend house:

Accept what you can't Change, and Change what you can't Accept.

later <3 :)

video overload

just enjoy. that is all.

love this song...

and here are a few more. just for fun. cuz im in the mood.

<3 another classic

and just a nice treat. in case you needed a laugh!!

and my fave song this week.

happy sunday!!! :)

english

the english language isnt good enough. there are some things i wish i could say, but just cant find the right words to completely convey the right message. it sucks. am i alone in this? have any of you found atleast once that you couldnt tell somebody something really important due to the fact that there simply werent words with which to express yourself. goodness gracious.
when i come to these road blocks i end up just getting super frustrated and angry at anything and everything. and normally sleep helps. but lately, sleep just isnt working. my back hurts. i feel sick to my stomach every once in a while. and i just kinda feel stuck. running around in circles, trying to find the solution to a problem that knowing me, is probably self-imposed. dangit.
in a matter of weeks i will have completed my second decade as a human being. and wat have i got to say for it... well. not as much as i would like. and i dont even know where to start im so frustrated. its a problem within a problem. im such a girl.
rant rant rant. goodnight.

ive become a lot less devoted to this blog... sad... and i also havent really been doing outfit posts anymore. truth is i dont really get dressed up as often... hah i stay at home in my sweats. dont get angry cuz you know you do too. but i figured i would sorta give you an update on my life at the current time. where to start.\

this one isnt really that big of a deal, but my phone busted on sunday, so a couple days ago and i havent had one, which kinda sucks.. this phone has been giving me problems, almost from the get go. idk what it was but yea, phones just dont like me all too much.

another update, i got a new job!! its only seasonal so that blows, but i mean its whatever, the staff is really nice, and ive been invited to the staff christmas party which is cool. never been to one of those! weird i know , but i guess i just never got word of any of them. oh well!! so yea, new job. so far, not a lot of shifts... hah i really hope someone else calls me back and hires me cuz these guys arent gonna hold me over. 10.00 an hour?? poop. but its money right? yep.

hmm what else... oh i went to see wreck it ralph a while back!! that was SO GOOD!!! hah way too cute. seriously, if you havent seen it, go see it.

i moved. cant remember if i wrote this in the blog, but here it is :) i moved into town, and am now in a new ward. its weird... but ill get used to it eventually. the great hing is now that im in town, its a lot easier to hang out with one of my most favorite people. thats a great big bonus.

hmm. what else. i lost a whole lot of my shoes? thats kinda a big thing to me. i had three boxes of shoes to be moved to the new house, and of those three boxes, the biggest one with all the heels in it somehow got lost in the move. and that sucks... to make matters worse, in that box was a pair of heels that i just barely bought on my trip down to utah, and i hadnt worn them yet! dangit... i really hope they're hidden somewhere in our storage unit.

i suppose thats all for updates. hah, life is good, and the future is bright :) im very excited to see how things unfold.

later all!!
ohj wait!!! christmas is almost here!!!!!! LESS THAN A MONTH..... wow. where did the time go? am i the only one who thinks it came way too fast?

think good thoughts

here's how i work... sometimes in my life i come to a point where i get so excited about meeting someone that i sorta cling to them... ive been told that it can be extremely annoying. so, recently  ive tried to hold back my habit. its been working. ive been doin a great job of not texting my new friends. but you see ive stopped texting everybody else too. and now ive started this new awful habit of thinking of these new friends for what seems like evrry second of the day that im not texting them. hah. some habit i broke. oops. created an entirely new one. anybody have any idea on how to get my thoughts off of this new friend? thanks ahead of time! :)

some peoples' children...

seriously guys.... WHAT IS UP!!!!! been a while. in know. but the only thing that has happened since i last blogged that is of any significance iiiiiis i moved. big whoop. and that's all i have to say about that. so. back to the topic of this post. some peoples' children......

so, it's come to my attention far too many times in the past couple of weeks, that the men in Southern Alberta are born annoyingly blind...... not literally. but still, in the worst way. blind to what's right in front of their eyes. i know far too many girls who are being mislead, mistreated and used (without the guy ever even noticing for the most part that it's pretty much entirely his fault)

yea yea i know what you're thinking, "she fell for him in the first place" right?? wrong. well... not wrong... but you're probably looking at it from the wrong angle. yes the girl fell for the guy. but she fell for him because he seemed sweet and he was nice to her. than all of a sudden out of NOWHERE, it's like a switch was flicked and he completely changed personalities. something or someone else came up, and said girl who is now devastated, has been left in the dust.... ouch.

was she not good enough?? there was no good reason for you to leave her!! you were both perfectly happy until those pesky words snuck their way into your brain... "what if".....

what if there is somebody out there who is better for me... what if she's a controlling psycho freak (according to her exes *side note, it takes the right person to bring out the best in someone, so they were probably not lying in telling you that, but it would be wrong of you to judge her for it*)... what if she falls in love with somebody else and leaves me stranded (um... hello? like you're doing right now..?).... ok first of all... QUIT IT!!!!!!! second of all... lemme quote good ol' Bob Marley again.

You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect-you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together. But if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break-her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there.

too wise my man.... too wise. what does it matter that she eats more than you do, or the color of her hair makes you wanna puke... if she makes you happy, and you make her happy, that's the end of it. DON'T take for granted what is right in front of you. please please PLEASE.

now I'm not saying girls don't do this too because we definitely do, so girls this post is just as important for you, i have just seen it becoming a pattern in the habits of too many guys.

we are humans... we make mistakes. we learn from them.... i had a deep conversation with my mom the other night that really put things into perspective for me. she went through quite the process of finding my dad... she was engaged to be married to man A. but upon deeper consideration, realized their relationship wasn't built on the morals that she wanted to raise a family with. she met man B, got engaged and set a date (getting closer). but then she met my dad.....  she broke it off her previous engagement and fell madly in love with my father... they got married in September and it has been 20 years.. perfect years? no. not even close. beautiful years? yes. full of love. unconditional love for each other and their Heavenly Father.

now I'm not saying third time's the charm or anything.. that's just the way it worked for my mom. yea they fight. all the time. but they make each other happy. they face their problems together. they grow together. they learn together. they had children, taught, and were taught by them... together.

so. as hard as life is... and as many bumps and bruises as you may accumulate along the way, life is meant to be a challenge. how else would we grow?? don't let life pass you by wondering why couldn't this have been easier, or why didn't i know this way back then....

the past is in the past. yes we should reflect on it from time to time and learn from it. but we are not meant to constantly dwell on it. it is soooooo unhealthy to constantly go back in our lives and nit pick at the things we could have done better then... as Rafiki said to Simba in The Lion King: its in the past!! stop bringing yourself down with it!! now this is no easy feat i know. I'm extremely guilty. but hey, I'm not perfect either!!

so if there is one point you should gather from this entire post it is this...

live here and now.

love those who love you, learn lessons from those who don't, and never, EVER take for granted the blessings you have been given. cuz you have more than you can count. you just have to pay attention and open your eyes to see them.

well, that's all for now folks :) have a fantastic week!!

another milestone

yesterday at about 9 pm i reached my second goal of 2000 names indexed!! how cool is that! i seriously love this stuff. it keeps my mind on important things, and i learn so many neat little storues about the people who's names im typing out. i wonder how many i will get done before the end of the month now that i have all the moving and packing to worry about. man oh man ha. well. thats all for today folks. later.

DIY

Hey there!! so i just made THE MOST ADORABLE wristlet lanyard... OMG!!!!!! hah but i have started a new blog and i decided this would be a great first post!! so here's a link to that post!!! :)

goal reached

Hello fellow bloggers and internet surfers :) i have some seemingly small.. but big news!! a few days ago (nine to be exact) i embarked on a brand new journey. my stake took on the challenge of indexing 1 000 000 names for the month of October. I've never done this before. heard of it, and it sparked an interest.. but never got to doing it.

then one day after an extremely frustrating night, i decided to give it a go.

i figured my time was being wasted worrying about things that were passed and unchangeable. i might as well be putting my brain to good use right??

so for those of you who don't know what indexing is, it's basically taking photos of paper records containing names and ages etc. of the deceased, and typing them out so they can be used by others trying to find their ancestors... pretty cool right??? well. i thought so!! hah and i got instantly addicted.

so our ward decided to make things a little more competitive. being a ward consisting of mostly men and women from an extremely competitive town; we divided ourselves into teams... well more or less we were divided into teams by the bishopric... but whatevs same diff!! :) so there turned out to be four teams i think..? i cant remember.. hah but what i DO remember is going up to the bulletin board and checking to see whose team i was on.. well turns out i discovered i was the leader of a team. dang. pressure? nah.... hah so naturally  i decide to get really into it and pull my own weight!

the rules and rewards or this competition were this. for the team that indexes the most names in the month of October, there will be a pizza party held. BUT for those of you who index 1000 names individually, an automatic invitation to said party will be granted.

**k pause.... who doesn't love a good pizza party?!?!**

SOOOOO big news is!! today i passed that 1000 name mark!! YAAAAAYYYY!!!! haha so addicted..... so i am now setting myself the new goal of 2000 names by the end of October!! and depending on if and when i reach that one, i might even push the bar up to 2500!! or 3000!! hah SO FUN!! and so rewarding too....
once i realized that the names i was indexing were real people, and they have been waiting for their names to be found for who knows how long.. i felt SUPER cool :) YAY!! :)

so YAY for not wasting my time worrying (on the outside... hah oops)!! and YAY for helping people find their relatives to do family history!!!

later days guys!!! :D

oops...

that awkward moment when you're minding your own business, you know facebook creepin... and out of nowhere you just start full on drooling ALL OVER yourself... please tell me im not alone on this one. totally embarassed myself in front of me. whether you understand what that means or not isnt my issue. but drooling is. dangit. we will get to the bottom of this. later days.

5000

we broke the 5000 pageview barrier!!! how cool is that?? i remember when 1000 was a big deal... wahoo!!
love you guys :)

ABC

I'm bored again. so I'm gonna ramble in an organized chaotic way. the alphabet.


A) always remind the people you care about that they are important to you. you can never say that too many times. ever.
B) be careful what you wish for, cuz you just might get it.
C) create opportunities to learn new things. an active mind is a happy one.
D) dance in your room when no body's watching. I've discovered this can be extremely therapeutic
E) exercise. nuff said.
F) focus on the positive things in a situation. it can be really hard, but if you do it often enough, it will become instinctive
G) greet total strangers with a smile or hello. you never know when somebody needs a pick-me-up
H) have a good time, even if you're in a bad mood. nobody wants to hang around a fun sucker. emotions are contagious, spread good ones.
I) invest your time in things that will move you forward. every second spent is non-refundable
J) just let it go. in my opinion, nothing is worse for a person than holding onto negative feelings. trust me on this one.
K) know your weaknesses and learn to make them strengths. nobody is perfect, but if you know what your imperfections are you might as well work towards improving them. no?
L) love unconditionally. this one is hard i promise. sometimes there is just that one person who just grinds your gears. that's ok, you're human. but if you're trying at least you can say so
M) make something. this has proven to help me time and time again. whether its a grilled cheese sandwich or a full blown quilt, there is something profound about being able to create something new out of something ordinary :)
N) never regret something that once made you smile. i read this somewhere once, and it has stuck with me ever since. and i can't say that I'm too good at this because i have a lot or regrets. but once i learn to accept that at one point in time they made me happy, then I'm ok. because there is no point in making a good memory bad, and then making that bad memory worse. (refer to F- good things only!)
O) only you can change the way you feel. don't blame it on your mom or your brother or the neighbour's cat. if you're sad, it's cuz you chose to be. and if you're happy it's cuz you chose to be. the mind is a powerful thing. (not saying that it's easy to just flip the switch... ITS NOT)
P) please yourself as well as others. yes, it's important to help others and make them happy, but if it's coming at your expense, STOP.
Q) quit waiting!!! read that. it's splendid.
R) rock it. self confidence is a big issue for me. but a good friend has made it pretty clear to me, that confidence is one of the most attractive traits (at least for him, but I'm guessing it's something most guys/girls like)
S) sleep. Sleep. SLEEP. so many studies have proven that if you get a good sleep your day just runs smoother due to increased brain function (and a couple other things i cant remember.. :))
T) take your time. life isn't a race, so don't waste it trying to get ahead of the next guy. there's a quote that just popped into my mind that sorta has to do with this:
'pride is not satisfied by simply having something, but by having more of it than the next man.' C.S. Lewis
U)um... i got nothing for u....
V) volunteer. i wanna do something bigger than just raking leaves or doing dishes. have for a long time. and every time i hear feedback from someone who has done it, they say they wanna go back.
W) worrying is bad. don't be a worry wart. it's probably just as bad as holding a grudge. not cool.
X) ya, like that's gonna happen...
Y) yesterday is in the past. keep it there
Z) z.... ya. I've still got nothing.... ha.


so... as patchy as it got near the end there, that's my alphabet of advice. yahoo. later.

patience little ones.

patience. if there is one thing i need to learn its how to just be patient. and i can be patient, i'm getting better in fact. but every once in a while i just get so dang stressed out by the whole ordeal that i drive myself crazy!! i've become so accustomed to the way of life these days and getting it NOW. not cool bro. any ideas on how to help learn patience?? anyone??

like for example, i ordered a cardigan online a while back. and its sooooo cute. but the thing is, the company i ordered it from takes forever to ship their goods. its a pain. and now that it's getting colder, i wanna be able to wear my lovely button up knit cardi. but alas, i must wait. darn.

on the bright side if you guys are friends with me on facebook or follow me on instagram, you know i got my teal suede wedges in the mail a while back... that was a GOOD DAY.

so, apologies for ranting on about meaningless stuff, but i'm pretty bored right about meow and i figured it'd be cool to update you guys. ya? no? oh well :)

giveaway!!

we all love giveaways!! especially when its personalized, AND the lady doing the giveaway is FABULOUS! She's lds just like me and she is a genius with her sewing machine! one day ladies.. hah one day i will be just like her :)
to enter, follow this link! good luck everyone :) and if you dont get it then atleast i may have helped you to discover a blog 100x better than his one!! :)
later days :)

OP overload.... hahaha oops 11-17

so remember the days when i posted outfits on a regular basis??? well ive continued to take pictures, in fact i've even evolved to posting them on instagram in collages!! (there is a link on the side if you want to follow me ;)) but ANYWAYS, i decided it was way past 'about time' for me to get caught up.... haha so bear with me and these multiple pictures of myself, but i just gotta get 'er done!! :) :)

k so the first six photos were taken in Ontario, and from my camera, so they are like the older ones. everything else was taken with my phone

OUTFIT 1

top:XXI, leggings:Costco??, belt:XXI, sandals:Joe

earrings:XXI

face shot?? meh, it was on the camera.. hah

OUTFIT 2

top:XXI, skirt:XXI (LOVE THIS SKIRT)

heels:Walmart

earrings:XXI

OUTFIT 3

skirt:XXI, shoes:XXI. earrings:XXI, clutch(top right):Bentley bracelets:Walmart

OUTFIT 4

top:Garage, Shoes:thrifted, earrings:Ardene

OUTFIT 5

rings:XXI, belt:Ardene, shoes:thrifted!!!

grey pencil skirt and peach top are not easily seen but they were both purchased at smaller boutiques

OUTFIT 6

shirt(same as the peach one above but grey):small boutique store, bracelets:Walmart, skirt:same store as shirt, shoes:Sirens

OUTFIT 7

shirt:Bluenotes, skirt(same as in outfit 5):smaller boutique, earrings:thrifted, shoes:ordered online!! 

(shoes purchased here. came to about 35 after shipping)

so there you have it!!! seven outfits in one.... jeesh... hah i will try to be better with these i promise!!
also please do give me feedback :) its great to hear from any and all of you!!

later days mi amgos :D

:/

im so confused :/............

a little looksie

so today im off work and i feel like sending a message to those of you boys out there who havent the slightest clue when it comes to women. i know we can be complicated, sometimes i dont even get me... but im going to write and write until something starts to click, and hopefully y'all learn something new.
so. where to start. i guess there isnt really a definite start point... but oh well. we'll ramble.
when you like a girl...
every girl is different, but im going to express to you what i have observed through both personal experience and in conversations with my very close girlfriends.
in order for a girl to fell for a guy, he has to stand out. not like bells and whistles and look at me im important. no. thats WRONG. cockiness wont get you the girl. start small. if you arent good friends, and communication is rare, smile at her or say hi to her one day, she'll notice trust me.
dont forget to work at your own pace either, if you're not comfortable having a full blown conversation with her yet, dont worry, take it slow. once you've become acquainted and you feel comfortable talking to her, find a way to squeeze yourself into a conversation with her. now this takes courage for some, but for others its a sinch, so again work at your own pace.
and dont be afraid if you think youre gonna say something embarrassing and she'll think youre really dumb, she'll probably end up thinking the exact opposite. she just might think it's cute!! (i would, if i were even remotely interested) this shows her that you're nervous and thats not always a bad thing. the fact that she makes you nervous means you can be vulnerable. so cute. but being a man is still important haha
but like i said every girl is different , so she just might think youre weird (personally i think that if this is the case, she doesnt deserve you. but idk, im no proffesional)
ok. back to earth here, she's giggling at you cuz you said something dumb.. youre in!! alrighty, now start trying to work your way into her group of friends if you havent already. dont be stalkerish and ask her out on a date yet. too fast. a woman likes to be chased, she doesnt like to be smothered. be her friend first. then once you notice a tiny spark of interest, make your move and ask her out.
ok, you're on your way to pick her up. go to the door, dont text her and tell her youre at her house. manners. knock on the door and walk her to the car. OPEN THE DOOR. thats a biggie. most girls that ive talked to, notice the door being opened. its the oldest trick in the book, seriously. pull her chair out for her too if youre going to dinner, another old trick.
ok great time has gone by and youve been on several dates. things are going GREAT! you really like this girl. and youre thinking she probably likes you too. ok show her you like her. the friends stage is in the past. break the touch barrier if you havent already. not necessarily hold hands yet but maybe touch her back when she's walking into a door you're holding for her, or offer her your arm when you go for a walk. whatever you feel comfortable doing. but dont wait too long, cuz if she did start liking you and you wait too long before breaking the touch barrier, she will think youre just a flirt and you dont like her after all. not cool bro.
ok now you know you like eachother. fast forward. youre now dating. dont just all of a sudden assume that she knows you like her. BAD idea. remind her how you feel on a regular basis, cuz if youre not saying it you may as well not feel it either. showing her is important too, but communication is KEY! there is nothing that bugs me more than a relationship that lacks communication. lines get blurred and feelings are hurt. if you love her smile, tell her!! if she's got a goofy laugh and you think its cute, tell her! let her know you care, or she will assume you dont, regardless of how close you are at this point.

idk what else to say... so i guess ill just review. dont be stalkerish, give her her space at first, but once you know she likes you and you like her, make sure she knows it. text her first, compliment her, play with her hair, be spontaneous, take her on dates. be a man!!!!

i realize this post probably makes no sense... hah but oh well, it let out a little bit of my frustration i suppose. boys, get out there and be men!!!

later days

Kindergarten stuff.. sorta?

So last sunday in relief society we had a wonderful lesson given by a wonderful lady named Chanelle!! it was apparently a super last minute lesson but i gotta say it was TOTALLY inspired.. hah so i decided to take some notes and blog about it. in her lesson two lists were mentioned that stuck out to me. i will share and expand!! :)

List 1: How to Live the Abundant Life 
(or the ABC's)
A) change your inner ATTITUDE, and other aspects of your life will begin to follow suit.
B) BELIEVE in yourself, in those around you and in eternal principles.
C) face your challenges with COURAGE

List 2: Important things to Remember While Preparing yourself for HIM :)
(or the 123's)
1. just cuz suzy's getting married, doesn't mean its the right time for you. everybody's life is different, don't spend your time comparing.
2. being single is not a cause for embarrassment. but waiting and wasting for that to change sure is.
3. give yourself every opportunity possible to grow as a single woman.
4. remember that preparing for marriage and looking forward to it doesn't necessarily mean letting it consume your life.
5. marriage in and of itself has never changed and unhappy person into a happy one.

THANKYOU CHANELLE!!!!!!

So if you haven't already figured it out, my name is Maddie Graham and I'm a member or the Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter-Day Saints.... or, I'm a Mormon. :)
I'm nearing my twenties and at this point in an LDS woman's life, marriage becomes a pretty big deal. well for most that is. there are some that really don't care for it, some that are all fine and dandy, and then there's the ladie4s who run around like chickens with their heads cut off after they turn twenty one screamin "WHY ARENT I MARRIED YET?!?!" and that is what this post is all about. lets start with the second list.

1) just cuz suzy's getting married, doesn't mean its the right time for you. everybody's life is different, don't spend your time comparing
COMPARING IS BAD! NO NO!
some people are ready for marriage light years before others, for reasons that can't necessarily be explained. don't fret if you're nearing your twentieth birthday and you haven't experienced your first kiss.. ITS OKAY, you're not retarded. being single is a privilege in itself, you have to embrace that before marriage even becomes an option. and that brings us to numero dos!!!

2. being single is not a cause for embarrassment. but waiting and wasting for that to change sure is.
enjoy the single life while you're still single!! life is meant to be experienced one step at a time. if you rush through it you will regret it. i don't know from experience, but i have been lectured enough to know that it must be SOMEWHAT true.. haha. in your single years you are supposed to let yourself grow! graduate from high school, make plans, go places, meet new people!! MAKE MISTAKES. life is an adventure, make it so!! and that brings is to the third point! :)

3. give yourself every opportunity possible to grow as a single woman.
(keep in mind these points don't only apply to women, men could use some of this advice too!)
let yourself grow!! a friend of mine once shared with me a quote she heard from a loved one, and it goes a little bit like this... "wake up every morning as if it's the BEST DAY EVER!" cuz if you want it to be, it can be!! I'm not saying you have to be uncomfortably happy all the time, that's just awkward, but don't bring yourself down.  don't sit there thinking negative thoughts (guilty) BE HAPPY, be the person you want to see in the mirror every morning, because only you have control over that. not suzy, not bob, fred or joe or mary, YOU. if you have a list of qualities you are looking for in a spouse, make a goal to emulate those qualities. but DONT gwet carried away... so here's number four

4. remember that preparing for marriage and looking forward to it doesn't necessarily mean letting it consume your life.
yea its good to prepare yourself, in fact its fantastic! but you're not going to get anywhere if all you think about is getting married. (fyi ladies... that's not attractive) like it says up above, enjoy yourself!! if an opportunity to grow as an individual presents itself, don't let it pass by because you're waiting for mr right!! who knows you might just encounter this mr right while grabbing life by the horns and making memories!! life is good! live it!! so this isn't exactly a segway into the final point on the list, but i think this point is the most important, and i want to just get to it.

5. marriage in and of itself has never changed and unhappy person into a happy one.
BE HAPPY SINGLE. marriage is not a problem solver. in fact, when you get married, you are not only still stuck with your own problems, but you are faced with the problems your spouse brought into the picture. now i don't mean to be telling you marriage sucks and its all a load of whooey and all you get is problems... WRONGO. as long as you go into marriage for the right reasons, and with the right attitude, it can and will be the best decision you ever made. (again I'm not exactly qualified to lecture on this, but trust me, I've heard it enough times to be able to reiterate it.... haha)

so that's list 1.. any questions??? well this isn't exactly interactive... so i cant really answer them... hah sorry!!
but now its time for list number two, and i do believe this list was in a talk by President Thomas S. Monson. he's THE BEST! so without further ado, tips and tricks on how to live the abundant life :)

A) change your inner ATTITUDE, and other aspects of your life will begin to follow suit
this point has already been stressed pretty well so far.. but ah what the hey, its a gooder!! be happy!! like seriously look at the bright side of life. it can be REALLY hard sometimes.. trust me, this one i know from experience. but let me tell you, if a guy is going through some tough times in his life and still he hold his head high as if he just found twenty bucks on the sidewalk, THAT is attractive. and I'm pretty sure i can speak for the men and say it goes both ways! nobody likes to hang around someone who is so down all the time! it drag others down with you! and that ties into the letter B.

B) BELIEVE in yourself, in those around you and in eternal principles.
your life will be a whole lot easier, and staying happy will come more naturally if you have faith and believe in yourself. look in the mirror ad smile :) i promise it looks good on ya! :) you are not worthless. every single human being is of AMAZING worth. you don't need to be rich or skinny or popular to be worth something. you're alive aren't you??? you've been given this life for a reason, get off your sad but and be grateful!! :) so now were at the letter C...

C) face your challenges with COURAGE
life is NOT easy. and a lot of the things i mentioned so far will be really hard for some of you. everybody has their strengths and everybody has their weaknesses. don't be discouraged. again don't compare yourself. Suzy might be great at staying happy, but you might be better at reading your scriptures or home teaching or even baking! for some it may take courage to pull out the apron and bake a pie, who are we to decide what's easy or hard for everyone. I personally stink at staying happy a lot of the time. i have really high highs and really low lows, but because i know i can do anything i set my my mind to, so I'm working to improve that bad habit and make it into a good habit. on the other had it takes not courage at all for me to whip out the recipe book! i LOVE baking, in fact i find it a comfort when stuff gets tough.

so i hope this post did something for somebody out there. i taught myself a thing or two as i rambled on... haha much love to you all!! later! :)

chocolate

you know those scenes in movies where a girl gets her heart broken and she starts watching chick flicks and throwing chocolates at the guy when he gets all sweet? well right about now i can relate to those women.

day 5. a vent.

have you ever gone from cloud nine to the bottom of a lake in the middle of nowhere?? well thats kinda how this week has been :/. thursday night i was the happiest girl in the world. evrrything was perfect. but see, because im so accustomed to my life being imperfect, my mind has been filled with nothing but negative thoughts. and im extremely mad at myself for it... i have mentioned before that im not the most patient individual when it comes to whats around the corner... and i want whats around the corner.. im just scared because im so used to things back firing... this week has been really hard. and i cant wait for it to be over. just a vent. sorry.

tell me something

looking through the blogs i follow i came across a survey... and decided to give her a whirl... hah enjoy!

NAME: Maddie.

AGE: 19 going on 20

BIRTH DATE: December 21st, 1992. 

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. last beverage = ice water <3

2. last phone call = my boss

3. last text message = Roxanne!!

4. last song you listened to = Superman - Taylor Swift

5. last time you cried = yesterday night. happy tears :)

  

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. dated someone twice = nope.

7. been cheated on = yes.

8. kissed someone & regretted it? yup.

9. lost someone special = not really.

10. been depressed = It's possible.

11. been drunk and threw up = h no.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. robin's egg blue

13. salmon

14. mint green

WITHIN THE LAST YEAR (2012), HAVE YOU:

15. Made a new friend = mhmm. :)

16. Fallen out of love = nope.

17. Laughed until you cried = haha yea, weekend camping with the fam <3

18. Met someone who changed you = yes... :)

19. Found out who your true friends were = no?

20. Found out someone was talking about you = no?

21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend's list = yes.

GENERAL:

22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life = all if not most

24. Do you have any pets = not anymore :(

25. Do you want to change your name = nope.

26. What did you do for your last birthday = i went to work.

27. What time did you wake up today = 8:00

28. What were you doing at midnight last night = listening to music

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for = next week.

 30. Last time you saw your Mother = about an hour ago

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life = can't think of anything off the top of my head

32. What are you listening to right now = Time to Let Me Go - Gloriana

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? = most likely yes.

34. What's getting on your nerves right now = a flipping fly.... i swear they stalk me...

35. Most visited webpage = Facebook.

37. Nickname = goat cheese... hahahahahaha

38. Relationship Status = 

39. Zodiac sign = Sagittarius

40. He or She = SHE!

41. Elementary =  Mazo de la Roche, Corsair, Crossland, Bogart

42. High School = Newmarket, Raymond

43. College = U of Lethbridge

44. Hair color = blonde. 

45. Long or short = long :)

46. Height = 5"10.5?

47. Do you have a crush on someone? = yuuup

48. What do you like about yourself? =  my voice?

49. Piercings = ears.

50. Tattoos = none.

51. Righty or lefty = righty

FIRSTS :

52. First surgery = left arm. broke both bones rollerblading

53. First piercing = ears.

54. First best friend = Anna? or Faizah...

56. First vacation = Palmyra Pageant with the fam jam and g-parentals :)

58. First pair of trainers = iiii don't know what that is.....??

RIGHT NOW: 

59. Eating = dates.

60. Drinking = water.

61. I'm about to =  watch another episode of bones... attempting to speed up this next week's passing

62. Listening to = Holding Out For A Hero - Ella Mae Bowen

63. Waiting for = nothing.

YOUR FUTURE :

64. Want kids? = eventually :)

65. Get Married? = yes.

66. Career? = not sure... speculation in midwifery..?

WHICH IS BETTER :

67. Lips or eyes = eyes... <3

68. Hugs or kisses = kisses.

69. Shorter or taller = taller.

70. Older or Younger = older.

71. Romantic or spontaneous = A spontaneous romantic!

72. Nice stomach or nice arms = if i ask nicely for both can i have em?? please?? :D

73. Sensitive or loud = sensitive.

74. Hook-up or relationship = relationship.

75. Trouble maker or hesitant = ummmmm idk...

HAVE YOU EVER :

76. Kissed a stranger = ew no...

77. Drank hard liquor =  h no

78. Lost glasses/contacts = of course i have.

79. Sex on first date = gross.

80. Broke someone's heart = um... i hope not :(

81. Had your own heart broken = yes.

82. Been arrested = nope.

83. Turned someone down = not that i can remember..?

 84. Cried when someone died = no.. :/

85. Fallen for a friend = yes..

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself = yes :)

87. Miracles = yes.

88. Love at first sight = not exactly

90. Santa Claus =  always :)

91. Kiss on the first date = not really

92. Angels = YES

later all :)

roughians.

can i just say? I. LOVE. CAMPING!

k. glad i got that out of my system. but seriously. i just got back from four days of camping bliss. nothing is better than just saying goodbye to the technology for a few days and getting to know the people you know and love ALL OVER AGAIN.
hate camping you say?? shame on you. boo.....
k jokes i wont judge you, it is definitely something you gotta really LOVE to appreciate.
i mean yeah sure you've gotta plug your nose to pee. and yea you SHOULDN'T be wearing makeup. but ladies admit it, the feeling of being able to rub your eyes till your eyelashes fall out... FAN FREAKING TASTIC!!!!
anyways, i just figured i should post on my lovely blog since i know how much you all missed me this long weekend... (JOKES) and letcha know how perfect my weekend went. (seriously best weekend ever)

THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT

later :D

good things.

to those of you who are going through a tough time in their life and feel like its impossible for it to get better... EVER. well youre wrong, trust me. things will get better. it will probably take longer than you want it to. but here's the thing. you dont always want what you need. and im a firm believer that the things that happen in your life whether they big big or small, are there for your growth and benefit (or come to think of it, for the growth and benefit of someone else). recently my life has taken a turn for the better. a lot better. and i couldnt be happier that my life has turned out the way it has. its far from over, but its been a wild ride up until here, are right now i say it was all more than worth it, and im excited to keep on makin memories with the people i have come to know and love.

so dont be discouraged if you are in that point in your life where things just plain old suck. trust me ive been there, and it is NOT fun. its not easy to tell yourself it will get better either. so im doing it for you. it will get better. life is good, and you will learn from whatever it is you are facing. so if you believe in yourself (which, by the by, you should) get up, and do something about it.

make sure whatever you do in a day is worth it, because whatever it is, you gave up a day of your life to do it, and no matter how much you pout, thats something you cant get back.

live. love. laugh.

good things will come. :)

this stinks. and it could just be the mood swingy girl in me, but this is just one of those moments. let me explain...you see, im not the kind of girl who is good and patient. i suck at waiying.. like SUCK. I have tried so many tines in so many different areas and this is the best ive ever done but its just making me stressed and giving me pimples and i dont know what to do... heres my dillema. little miss impatient here has a crush. a crush on somekne shes only actually seen a few times, and who lives too far away to see him for another month when school starts. now another thing about me is that i make it painfully obvious when i have a crush. and it went the exact same way with this guy except when i flirted i got a positive response. and im not used to that. so when he went back home i decided to try my darndest and stick to not sticking to it. lay low and let him come to me. well im doing pretty good considering my past... but im still the one who is coming off desperate and i hate it. i want to tell him but im afraid that he'll give me the old "just friends is good" and im getting a little upset about it. when i like a guy it normally goes south because i tend to think a lot. and my thoughts run rampid with could be's and what if's when im in this state of mind. i really dont know what to do anymore

oh life.

isn't it ironic that when you want time to pass by fast, it seems to drag on forever.. i mean heck i love summer. but this year things are different and i have reason to look forward to the fall. so dear life, if you could please speed up a little bit so youre moving faster than a tortus at death's door it'd be much appreciated. thanks, sincerely me.

let yer hair down!!!

Just a shmoo of songs off iTunes for those hot summer days <3


Shake - Jesse Mcartney
Crazy Girl - Eli Young Band
About You Now - Miranda Cosgrove
Good Girl - Carrie Underwood
Baby It's You - Jojo
You Can't Hurry Love - Dixie Chicks
What Did I Do - Nikki
Keep Your Head Up - Andy Grammer
The Fighter - Gym Class Heroes ft. Ryan Tedder
Last Friday Night - Katy Perry
Dance With Me Tonight - Olly Murrs
I'm Not One Of Them - Lauren Alaina
Runaway Baby - Bruno Mars
Good Time - Owl City ft Carly Rae Jepsen
123 - Craig Smart
I'll Be In The Sky - B.O.B
You're My Only Shorty - Demi Lovato
Together - Demi Lovato ft Jason Derulo
Want U Back - Cher Lloyd
Brokenhearted - Karmin
Gone Gone Gone - Robert Plant and Alison Krauss
Domino - Jessie J
Maybe - Plug In Stereo
Hey Sexy Lady - i SQUARE
The Golden age - Asteroids Galaxy
Heart Vacancy - The Wanted
Drive By - Train
Just A Step Away - Carly Rae Jepsen
Dancing Crazy - Miranda Cosgrove
Knee Deep - Zac Brown Band
I Like It Like That - Hot Chelle Rae ft. New Boys
All In My Head - Nick Lachey
I've Tried everything - Olly Murrs
I Miss You - Craig Smart

let it go.

don't let the way others treat you get you down.

recently a couple issues have been brought back up to the surface. and its hard. i tend to be the kind of person to cry it off, then bury it and keep pushing until I'm out of breath and need a little help. when i get out of breath those problems that i buried catch up to me and i become one emotional mess. and its not healthy.
there is a difference between letting it go and letting it be. i tend to be the type to let it be.
for some reason i have found that we as a human race tend to harbour up our negative emotions and let them grow in some unknown space inside of us. until one day that space isn't big enough to hold anymore, and you just explode.
don't let that happen. if someone has upset you; tell them. don't be like me and let them walk off not knowing what they actually did. it will do you more harm in the long run that you can imagine at that moment.
a while back i vented in a post about my brother in law, and this is the cause of my glum mood this evening. i was really hurt by him. and i didn't let him know it. i still don't think he knows it. but i don't blame him, i didn't let him see it. i didn't stand up for myself and tell him.
he did the things he did out of love for his family;his wife and children, but in doing so he forgot that i was more than just a guest in his house, and that perfection on my part wasn't realistic to ask for. he forgot that while he was hurting me, he was also hurting his wife, who happens to be my only sister.
both me and my sister are alike in that we are both silent in situations where our feelings are hurt. if I'm going to tell you i was hurt, its going to be very indirect and in some sort of code. which i have come to learn is extremely difficult to understand if you're not me.

so if you're anything like me, please take this piece of advice and don't just let it be... let it go. cry it out. pray about it. talk to your bishop about it. but never hold it in.

i love this song. <3


later days my friends

Sing

i remember posting about a cover i did a while back. but i sent you the link to my facebook profile.. so now im going to give you the youtube link, along with the link to the cover i did yesterday :) enjoy..? :)

yaaaa..... LATER

i put the value in value village.....

so i have wanted to do a post like this for a while. no its not a haul, its a tips and tricks post :) if you know me well enough you know that i LOVE shopping at value village, and most would say i have mastered the art of doing so. its not really all that easy. so i am going to share with you what goes on inside my head as i shop for bargains in vv boutique!! :)
TIP 1)
so first things first, unless you have to, i dont suggest you go in looking for something specific, 9 times outta 10 you wont find it. i go in with an open mind, sort of picturing the items i already have in my closet, and search for items that might pair well with what i have.
TIP 2) leave yourself a good chunk of time in the store if you want to get some good shopping done. i can spend two hours in that store, easy. but thats because i have learnt to be thorough and patient when i shop.
TIP 3)
so then there's exactly that, be thorough and give yourself time to find the good stuff. i have tricks for each item of clothing you shop for, so lets go into detail
3.1 casual tops- when shopping through the knit tees and blouses in your local value village there are two things you need to pay attention to when pulling back EVERY ITEM (yes, trust me if you do it right it really doesnt take that long) you need to pay attention to FABRIC and COLOR. why those two?? well when you are looking at a shirt on the rack, without even touching it yet, you can see the color, and whether or not it has been over worn and washed too many times. while you sift through the clothes you should pay attention to the way the fabric feels between your fingers. chances are if you dont like the way it feels between your fingers, you wont like the way it fits either. another thing i find useful is to pay attention to brand names. some names like gap, xxi, american eagle, you name it, just dont look good on the hanger, so if you love the brand name, try it on anyways, all you have to lose is a few seconds in the change room, and all you have to gain is a cute new top at a GREAT price.
3.2 jeans- ok so when i shop for jeans i always go from the end where i can see the but pocket first, if that makes sense. the but pocket is just about the most important thing you can gather from a hanging pair of jeans. the next important thing is the wash and then the stretchiness. if you have a smaller but, you dont necessarily want bigger pockets, but i do suggest you look for pockets with a bit more glam. if you have a pretty average sized but, youre safe going with pretty much whatever. if you have a larger but like me, try to stay away from pockets with too much glam, it can over emphasize the part of your body that speaks for itself. when looking for wash and stretchiness, its really just preference. i prefer darker washed jeans with just a TAD of stretch. (also word to the wise, DO NOT BUY POCKET-LESS JEANS... unless its for some destiny's child costume, those have absolutely no business being on ANYBODY's bum. no. just no.
3.3 hoodies/sweaters- ok so hoodies are really up to you, but personally i am really picky when it comes to hoodies, cuz if theyre not a good brand i find they twist and wash funny. so if i can, i go with a lulu lemon or american eagle hoodie. they do tend to be more expensive, but like i said this is really just personal, since hoodies are a little looser fitting, the fabric is less important. :)
3.4 shoes- when shopping in a thrift store like this, always shop your size, and a size above or below your size, because often times sizes are very wrong.
3.5 purses..?- hahathis isnt really a section, and its very rare one actually finds a good purse at a second hand store, but remember when looking at clutches or pleather purses, dont be afraid to get crafty. i found this nude clutch once in a thrift store for like a buck and thought "those ugly white stripes can be fixed with some spray paint and painters tape :) so i painted em gold!! and here's what i got :)

yay!!! so i guess now its on to the change room section of the tips. and these apply to all stores... haha
TIP 4) if it doesnt fit over your shoulders or hips, DONT FORCE IT.... you will get stuck..... hah not cool.
TIP 5) if you dont like it in the store, dont buy it, you will regret it. (unless its like one or two bucks and can easily be recycled, then youre safe.
TIP 6) if youre like me and tend to find lower cut pieces at value village, i suggest you bring a neutral under shirt and maybe some leggings or spandex or something for items that are a bit more sheer. and if you have found an item that would look better with a belt, then find a belt similar to one you have at home, or even look for a new belt, there can be some good finds in there!!!

and thats pretty much it for the tips!! hah if i think of something else i will update the post, but for now thats it!!

OOH and here are the nails i told you guys about before, except the reinforcements didnt work very well because the neon is a cheap nail polish and takes forever to dry so it was hard to peel off the sticker. i free handed it and they turned out SO GOOD! see for yourself :)

and yes it is just nail polish, no gel or acrylic :)

and thats it for today :) later guys!!!!

ALWAYS check...

so yesterday i was in town with my good ol pal beanie, and we were on pour way home when we decided to stop at the superstore for some snackies!!! :) they had a really great price for mini sour keys, so i grabbed a bunch and made my way to the scale to figure out the price i would have to may for my noms. yeeeeeaa i cant read the scales idk why i even bothered..... hahaha
so we went off to the cash, me with my large fist sized bag of sour keys and beanie with her small baby sized bag of lollipops. (yes im not exaggerating. i love her.. hahaha) so the cashier we go to looks to be new... (im pretty sure she charged the lady in front of us with beans' stuff..... not cool..) so beans goes to pay and her bag of goodies comes up to a little over twelve bucks.. yikes hah her candy was 98 cents per hundred grams so i was like whatevs my bag with be like five tops.
beans pays and its my turn to get my card out. im chatting with beans and all of a sudden i hear her dictate the price to me..... but i had to have her repeat it.. and then read it several times before i started to freak out. it was TEN DOLLARS!!!! ya fricken right.... A) my candies were 69 cents per hundred grams... B) HER BAG IS THE SIZE OF A SMALL BABY YA DUNCE!!!!! so i figured whatever shes new ill let it slide, i dont wanna cause further embarrassment because i have DEFINITELY been there... hah so as we are walking to the truck my mind is racing and im getting more and more peeved.. then i take a look at beans' receipt and compare them. k her bag weighed in at about 1.2 kg (1200 grams) and MINE weighed in at 1.4 kg.... NO FETCHIN WAY THATS RIGHT!!!!
so i go back in to the customer service desk and the lady weight it again.. k no its not 1.4 grams... its .3!!! A QUARTER of the weight... she must have been leaning on the scale... so the bag of candies came closer to 2.50 at that point... thank goodness.... hah man i am so glad i checked... ALWAYS CHECK.
pfft..

get it right.

there are fewer disappointments in life than those you could have prevented, but let happen repeatedly.

warning: this is a vent.

yes. this is me venting. because im sick of not telling anyone about it. and every time i blog about something it makes me feel better. so here it goes.
im sick and tired. sick anbd tired of you always picking out the negative in me. im sick and tired of you belittling me and treating me like a disappointment. you never see the things that i do for you and your family. she is the only one to ever say thankyou. every time she says thankyou. and if you ever do itd through her. we never got along. but it was to be expected. i was only ten. now im going on twenty and instead of just plain old i dont know you, now youre reducing me to tears. what the heck did i ever dso to make you resent me so much?? seriously man why do you think youre so much better??? and blaming the fact that she got sick one morning on me?? that's low. i understand that i add some stress because i am at work a lot and being out of the house leaves he on her own. but seriously?? ITS HOT! SHES PREGNANT! just because it has never happened in any other pregnancy doesnt mean that now that im here its my fault. and for your information, i do care about her well being. i care a heck of a lot. today when she came out of the bathroom crying?? that tore me to pieces.
i hate how you expect me to be perfect. one slip up and im the devils advocate. im sorry i was rushed for time one morning and asked for help from her to make me a sandwich. shes my sister and i needed help, why can i not ask? its a sandwich! im sorry that i forgot my wallet once and needed you to drive me to the go station. that was scatter brained of me and i felt awful asking. but it hasnt happened since and it wont happen again. i really hope for both our sakes we start to get along. especially for her sake. if it werent for you this stay would be perfect.. but instead because of you i want to leave right now. drive to the airport and go home.

that's all. bye.

finally

finally my nails are growing at a good pace!! theyre all the same length and they look nice :) time to try out this tutorial... hah gotta get the reinforcements tho!! :) i will oput up pictures once i get to it!!

oh ps. 4. that is all....
!!!!!!!!!!